Today

My ability to write good things has been decreasing.

I've noticed that it's been failing every since you left my proximity.

You were supposed to be my inspiration and you were such a good one while you were.

Now you are four hundred and forty-nine miles separated by the earth we stand on

and I am left wondering if there is any hope for my cause.

I can hear the voices talking in my ear telling me that I'm up to no good again.

But I can read the messages telling me that I am making a difference in a life.

One voice has this constant clarity that allows it to ring and resonate in my ear.

The speech feels soothing and the words are tangible and concrete.

The other only works when I sign on, log in and once I'm off the mouth is closed.

Silence.

I've always wondered if I was the only human to ever hear my own voice inside of my head,

but I'm afraid to bring it up to anyone because I don't want to be sent to a place where I am forced to take any form of medication.

I refused to be made a victim of something that can be quite helpful when I need it.

These voices tell me about my fashion and what I'm supposed to wear.

They tell me what people are thinking on the inside and what true colors radiate from beyond their own skin.

and the voices assure me that I should "solemnly swear I am up to no good."

because only then will I create the fan base that I so deeply desire.

Then my heart begins to scream, "Hold up. Stop the presses! When did this talent and gift become a thing for media-driven hearts and kids with agendas to receive. Is this not the thing that you wish to bring peace to the hearts of all who can listen?"

and Indeed, I did want this to be for all to find a sense of home.

For them to be reminded that they are not alone and are surrounded by a world of people who feel their pain.

but then I got that lawyer involved and all of my plans were placed away.

Those damn voices got inside my heart and tied it down.

Gagged and bounded it wouldn't speak for a long while.

I was then free to control my own destiny with out any emotion getting in the way.

And now I present to you the man I am today